Tuesday, October 21, 2008

James H. W. James Academy for Children

An important trait to look for in a child: having at least two middle initials. This is the motto of James H. W. James Academy for Children.

Pupils: 6
Avg. Weight: 74 lbs.
Favorite Color: Varies
Knowledge Attained: Some
Tuition: Varies
Courses Offered: Varies
Mascot: Mallard

James is the only teacher at James H. W. James Academy for Children. He is, however, constantly in search of new faculty to relieve him from what he calls “the great burden of pedagogy.” James is willing to admit that it is a noble enough profession, but after doing it for as long as he has been doing it (nobody is certain how long a time this really is – James H. W. James Academy for Children opened its doors 8 months ago), one simply needs a rest.

The above list is a reproduction of an ad James put in the local paper in order to solicit help. Nobody responded, and thus in my nearly boundless generosity, I felt that I would try to help out this dear, dear man. I write this, then, in the hopes of finding some member of my no doubt immense audience who would be willing to assist James in his pedagogical pursuit. If interested, please send your resume and a cover letter to James H.W. James Academy.

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